write anyway

‘follow your passion,

and the money will follow’

I’ve been told.

I followed a passion

and forced myself to write

staring at my ceiling

In the worst writer’s block.

That lasted several weeks,

more than you may think.

All the posts I’ve sent,

Poems I’ve read aloud

Were all from my little vault

of emotions im not sure I was ready to share

but I did.

because I thought a number

controlled whether I was good or not

to a point I ghosted a page I posted on for a week

because all I saw were the numbers decreasing.

I would stare at the higher numbers of traction

and look at mine.

hurting my mental with a strategy that was supposed to help.

wondering if I was the only one to love my poems

and if I was the only one who understood.

but that’s the whole point with your passion.

only you have to understand it.

I was so close to losing

The only tool I could use

To get stuff off my chest.

So close I thought I lost it forever

But then what?

A number doesn’t tell you if its good or bad.

Only you can decide that

Some of my ‘best’ pieces to me

Were the worst in the world,

And vice versa.

But I’m so proud of it.

So until then the number doesn’t define anything

At least it doesn’t to me.